Kanthvaani

Apr 3, 2025

Behind the smile I was smiling through the veil of angst, My feet were stuck, my fists were clenched. I wore a coating of warm and bright, My insides were cold, indulged in fight. I lifted my face, eyes were gleaming, My gut was wrenched, my heart was bleeding. I joked around, chortled at my own pun, My soul was screaming, my mind was numb. I put on a facade for all those years, Hid unbearable pain, blinked back unshed tears. Everything would be fine one day; I thought, But a part of my mind was a blind spot. Stagnant were the buried, or so I believed, Yet ripples arose, for I never truly healed. Am I going to be that child again? I questioned myself. Or Am I ready to be vulnerable and ask for help? Will I survive this storm’s unstoppable cadence? Can I move past my past, just this once? Will I ever look in the mirror and say those words; That I love myself and it no longer hurts? Will the day ever come when I need no mask? Will what lies behind no longer stay in the dark? Will I let my guard down and lower my defense? Will my smile be a smile again and not a pretense? -komal sharma
Kanthvaani

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